“Sorry I’m late, but…”
“I shouldn’t have snapped, but…”
“I meant to respond, but…”
We all make mistakes at work, and we’ve all made excuses.
Maybe you’ve slacked off on a team project. Perhaps you are chronically late. You might snap at colleagues when stressed out. We all have faults.
Do you own and learn from your missteps, though, or do you make excuses?
When someone messes up and gives you an excuse – how do you feel?
Do excuses do any good?
It might seem like we’ll impress others if we say we can do no wrong, but people aren’t impressed by being gaslighted.
There’s real strength in owning mistakes, and in taking feedback without being defensive.
It is hard to admit you’re wrong when you are, but it’s a good thing to do.
It makes you stand out as a rare individual who’s willing to admit fault, and it helps you to learn about yourself.
Reasonable people know they aren’t perfect and don’t expect perfection from others. Humility and self-awareness are superpowers.
Admitting you’ve messed up shows both.
When you’re tempted to give an excuse for an error you’ve made, remember:
- “But” is the great eraser
- People do what they want to do
Any time you hear (or say) the word ‘but,’ you can erase the words that come before it, because those words are insincere.
The speaker doesn’t mean anything s/he says prior to ‘but,’ and there’s a good chance the rest of the sentence is malarky, too.
If someone says ‘sorry, but,’ they are not sorry.
They are blaming someone or something else. Which leads us to:
People do what they want to do.
Have you noticed that it’s easy to do the tasks you enjoy at work, while there are others you put off? What about being on time and prepared for meetings you like, vs those you don’t? How much time do you spend scrolling through social media when you could be doing what really needs to be done?
When given a choice, people do what they enjoy and put off or rush through that which they don’t like. If you – or somebody else – didn’t complete a task, it wasn’t a priority for a reason.
Recognize that there are tasks or people that you don’t like (and pay attention to what you DO like). Be honest with yourself about your actions as they pertain to your preferences and you’ll learn more about what you’re really good at.
There’s a reason I coach clients to do work they enjoy – they’ll be better at it and they’ll want to do more of it.
Then they won’t need excuses.
Taking responsibility for messing up is refreshing, empowering, and admirable, especially when followed by changed behavior.
It can make you a better person.
If “but” is the great eraser, “I’m sorry – I’ll do better” is the great creator – of new skills, relationships, and possibilities.
How do you feel about excuses?
Do you make or accept them anymore?
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