Anyone familiar with fairy tales knows that things aren’t as they seem in many stories.
The crone is the Queen of the Fairies. The frog is a prince. The land is under an enchanted spell.
In these tales, powerful people are in the least likely places. You never know who’s connected to whom. It behooves you to be courteous to everybody.
This is because everyone deserves respect.
But this lesson is connected to the job hunt, too.
Most everyone has a job or is connected to people who have jobs. People have neighbors, aunts, cousins, and friends, all of whom work in various capacities, many of which might be interesting to you.
This is not a reason to be nice to people. But if you recognize this and treat everyone well, you will notice that good things happen for you.
A senior colleague at Duke recounted how she got her job teaching economics at Duke’s public policy school twenty years ago.
She had been sitting at a cafe in Chapel Hill, grading papers for a class she was teaching at the University of North Carolina.
The person next to her struck up a conversation with her, and over the course of their friendly chat, she revealed that she worked at Duke and was looking to hire a new faculty member to teach economics.
My colleague jumped at the idea, and has enjoyed a rewarding career at Duke ever since.
If she had been rude to the person sitting next to her, her entire life would have been different.
She wouldn’t have been standing before us making an anniversary speech.
Furthermore, she never would have known that she had missed the opportunity of a lifetime if she had been unfriendly that day.
A client of mine was unhappy in her job. But she always struck up a friendly conversation with the people in the elevator in her office building.
Over time, she got to know colleagues who worked in another think tank in her building, and they recruited her onto their team as soon as they were hiring.
Now she’s happily working at the think tank next door, making more money and in a better position, with colleagues whom she truly enjoys.
Neither of the people referenced above left the house in either scenario prepared to find a job. But by being courteous, polite, and engaged with others, they found opportunities for themselves that they would have otherwise entirely missed.
When I worked at Duke, I specialized in career counseling and employer relations for students making career transitions into the field of international development.
These students would interview for jobs and internships at some of the most prestigious employers in the world: The World Bank. The United Nations. The Brookings Institution.
I coached many students throughout the interview process. I would always remind them: when you enter the building, be kind to the person who signs you in. Be polite to the assistants or interns who escort you along your way.
When your interview is over, send a thank-you note to anyone who helped to organize your visit — not just to the folks whom you perceive are the ‘big dogs.’
It is important to create an impression of professional courtesy wherever you go.
Opportunities lie in the most unlikely places. If you view your network as everyone you know, and everyone you meet along the way, then you will be amazed at how the story of your life unfolds.
You’ll find that you make life-changing connections that will help you or other people on air plane rides, in the grocery line, or on the subway ride to work.
And you’ll have a much better time along the way.
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