Networking is about being a resource to others

Update 7/15/20: Here’s my most recent piece on Networking in the time of CoVid-19. More timeless networking advice follows below in this blog post.

Many people shy away from networking because they fear it makes them seem creepy, or like they’re using other people, or forming relationships with others because they need something from them.

If you reach out to other people merely and only when you want something from them, then yes — networking will be like this for you.

And you won’t have much success with it, either, since people will pick up on your lack of sincere interest in them.

If, however, you decide to make your networking approach about being a resource to others, then you do two things:

1) You empower yourself by seeing yourself as a giver, not a taker. This gives you confidence, which is crucial for interpersonal success.

2) You are helpful to those with whom you interact. In this process, you add value to every interaction you have with the person. It is also more natural for people to want to help you if you have shown a true interest in helping them.

Here are five key actions to consider in order to make networking about giving:

1. Listen well and make the conversation about the other person. Ask people questions about their professional lives and for their professional advice and sincerely listen. If you are sitting down, take notes when they are speaking. Many people feel unheard in daily life. Your sincere interest in another’s point of view is a gift.
2. Reach out to people to wish them happy birthday, happy work anniversary, happy holidays, etc. without any ask attached. Just reach out to wish them all the best. Social media channels make this very easy to do. Personalize your note whenever doing this by adding the person’s name and one or two sentences to show you remember them fondly.
3. When you run across articles or other resources that might be of interest to someone you know, vet them well, and send them along. People are touched and glad to know that you are thinking of them. It’s also nice to share knowledge — you never know when the information you send might be useful to someone.
4. When you meet with a peer for an informational interview, offer to buy his or her coffee or tea. This small gesture means so much to others, and is a way to thank the person for his or her time spent with you. It also helps to balance the interaction between the two of you.
5. Think about aspects of your life that you could share with people when you are chatting with them. For example, if you are from Croatia, you could offer to share information with someone about things to do and places not to miss if he or she is planning a trip there. If you graduated from a college or university that is of interest to your colleague and his or her children are going on a college tour, offer to share any information you have about your school and the town with this person before they go.

In a previous blog, I wrote about the cycle of generosity, and how giving leads to receiving. This networking approach is yet another aspect of that same principle at work.